Thursday, November 17, 2011

Momma said.

There are times that I need to remind myself that there are days like today. Days that make me feel like I might be on my way to feeling like I have a handle on things. Days when I wake up in time to shower, take the trash out, go to the coffee shop for croissants, make a little breakfast, have a conversation without feeling like I have somewhere to be. It's rare that I feel discontent, and it usually is a product of something larger. The whole year and a half at my last job I felt stagnant, with money and my career. I lost track of what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be. But even through all of my struggles with money these past few years, I've learned to embrace the harder-to-find-but-free-er things in life. The library became my haven, I learned to appreciate an afternoon at a coffee shop. I learned to slow down, walking or biking instead of relying so much on public transportation. I learned to cook, to really examine the possibilities of food and stretch what I thought I was capable of. I learned that, no matter what my bank account looks like, I will make sacrifices to buy ice cream. I learned that I am more afraid than I have ever been, and so more willing to take chances, to try new things. I fell in love with books again, with long afternoons of silence, with board games.

It could be the swift approach of the holidays, of new milestones, of another year passed, but I'm feeling intro (retro?) spective. And thankful. Oh so thankful.

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